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Pick two

You walk into a restaurant and you have the option of two dishes. You want both but ultimately you have to make a decision. You MUST pick one. Both have good and bad qualities. 

I am finding this is much like life, having to decide between two good things. Both things have good and bad qualities. But, overall they are just what you have been looking for, now only if you could combine the two into one perfect combination. But, alas you cannot and you must make the choice. 

I guess the biggest factor for me is with one I have to be strong for but with the other I can be 100% myself. For so long I have been peoples strength for once I want someone to be mine to lean on and to give me support and the strength I need to carry on just as strong as I know I am and as strong as I know I can be. 

I am finding it is amazing to see how those around you can play apart in the decisions that you make. I have found that you surround yourself with the people that will give you the advice in which you seek. If it is a path that you know you shouldn’t be going down but yet you want to you will surround yourself with those that tell you, that is the way to go and you should defiantly keep doing whatever your doing. I mean seriously who wants to be told you should stop what you are doing and say go do something more productive or something that will lead you down the path that you really want be headed down. 

So back to my dilemma, I suppose I shall see where my choice take me. I was thinking the other day that I am waiting for someone to make the move. But I guess someone has it just isn’t necessarily the one that is convenient or the one that I want. I guess it has to do with the fact that for one I have to be strong and always buoy them up. While with the other I am myself around them…we could talk for hours and still continue talking. 

I guess this is why I said enough is enough for high school and when I get to college the drama will die down and people will be able to think more clearly and I can say okay I like them maybe just maybe we could go out on a date or two and see where it goes for there and I won’t have people saying you should do this or you should do that…I hate relying what other people think to decide on what I would do. Heck I might not regret doing or saying some of the things I do. But I guess I will take what comes my way. 

I have fun things planned and just maybe I will be able to clear my head while I am wandering the streets of a foreign country listening to the foreign language being spoken all around me. Just maybe with some distance I will be able to see the bigger picture, just maybe. Who knows those that have been on my mind will have that same chance and I guess I will have take it from there because for right now I am done guessing. I have work to focus on and some much blasted work to do, that I am almost swimming in it….and the last thing I need right now are issues with guys.

Just saying. Yes I would like to have a boyfriend but I don’t NEED one. I am strong I can support myself. I can do what I want and live a “free” life. I can just be me, with NO awkwardness. 

Thoughts…

Do you ever have people keep bring up one subject over and over again? Well that has been happening for the last couple of weeks and so then I started thinking…which is dangerous just saying…. Anyway, since I have been thinking about I was like hmm…it would be very different from now…Then I got excited for college and I started thinking about everyone I have here and then I started to get sad and nervous because I will be so far away from home be on my own.

Life comes with it complications and its changes no matter how different for everyone that is one thing that we all have in common. But it also comes with joys beyond description and those around that brighten your day one moment at a time. 

There has been so much on my mind lately that it is sometimes hard to focus on school…I guess that would be called senioritous.

Tangled *-*

nina-amae:

Love this last scene =D